


The Dragon Prince and the Male Princess

by NyxKeilantra413



Series: The Chronicle of the Male Princess [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Dragons, Gen, Humor, M/M, Princes & Princesses, allura is... well you'll see yourself, i'm sorry i don't even know why i wrote this, no smut this time peeps just plain ol' humor not even real romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 00:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13306677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxKeilantra413/pseuds/NyxKeilantra413
Summary: The wind whirls in the ears of the peasants as the mighty dragon does its manlier equivalent of flapping its majestic wings. Many poor souls cower wherever they can hide, but still they cannot help overhearing the fearful cries of the princess in the dragon’s claws—“Stop. No. Help.”Lotor glances down at Keith in irritation. The princess, so titled because his crowning unfortunately happened during Crown Princess Allura’s toxic-level-feminist phase, is no longer screaming to be let go, thank the deities, but his half-hearted attempts at being a good prisoner is quite vexing.“You know, I could kidnap your lover instead if you insist on giving such a lacklustre performance,” Lotor reminds him.Keith, who is not stupid despite the reputation his hot-headed, impulsive nature acquires, merely scoffs. “Sure, why not. Take a turn to the heavily fortified castle and take my nonexistent lover there without getting a single scratch from the guards. Chances are you’ll die and I’ll be returned to my homestead with Allura still describing what she’d do to your corpse in vivid detail.”





	The Dragon Prince and the Male Princess

The wind whirls in the ears of the peasants as the mighty dragon does its manlier equivalent of flapping its majestic wings. Many poor souls cower wherever they can hide, but still they cannot help overhearing the fearful cries of the princess in the dragon’s claws—

“Stop. No. Help.”

Lotor glances down at Keith in irritation. The prince _ss_ , so titled because his crowning unfortunately happened during Crown Princess Allura’s toxic-level-feminist phase, is no longer screaming to be let go, thank the deities, but his half-hearted attempts at being a good prisoner is quite vexing.

“You know, I could kidnap your lover instead if you insist on giving such a lacklustre performance,” Lotor reminds him.

Keith, who is not stupid despite the reputation his hot-headed, impulsive nature acquires, merely scoffs. “Sure, why not. Take a turn to the heavily fortified castle and take my nonexistent lover there without getting a single scratch from the guards. Chances are you’ll die and I’ll be returned to my homestead with Allura still describing what she’d do to your corpse in vivid detail.”

Lotor makes a noise that may be liberally interpreted as ‘ _I admit that I barely succeeded kidnapping you and that to attempt a second kidnapping would be a fatally idiotic move, but I refuse to admit it verbally, because toxic masculinity includes unwillingness to admit mistakes_ ’. But all he actually says is;

“I am aware of your lover’s fatalistic humour and approve of it on occassions, but I was unaware that you indulge him to the point of not acknowledging his existence.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about. Also, keep it to three or four syllables at most. It’s too fucking windy here; I can hardly listen to what _I’m_ saying.”

“I mean the head of the guards—Takashi Shirogane.”

“Shiro and I are like brothers!”

“Certainly, because a pair of brethrens will ogle each other tenderly and seize every opportunity to touch the other while hiding forlorn smiles.”

“Shiro said he’s just proud of me and sad that I’d probably be married off to some neighbouring kingdom’s prince!”

“Of course. And what is your own excuse if I may know?”

“...You’re tripping balls. I never smile. I have no feelings.”

Lotor glances down at Keith for the second time. The princess is stone-faced, looking at nothing, arms crossed on top of Lotor’s claws that wrap around his legs and torso. If someone well-versed in the art of dragon physiognomy happens to see Lotor’s face as it returns to look to the front, that someone may claim that Lotor is smiling.

“I am glad I’ve chosen to take you with me, Your Highness. You are always so amusing. I am certain we can stave off boredom with ease together.”

The dragon pretends not to hear Princess Keith’s exasperated question; “Can’t you just—I don’t know—scry your friends if you’re lonely? Must you kidnap anyone? It reeks of the desperation of a fuckboy who has been rejected forty-seven times!”

* * *

Keith is secretly too soft to accuse him of it directly, but he does suspect Lotor of being a desperate fuckboy who has been rejected forty-seven times.

“I will not apologize for the humble accommodation. This is all I am able to provide my prisoner,” Lotor has announced right before flouncing away, leaving Keith in his so-called humble little cell.

Glancing at the crystal chandelier on the frescoed white ceiling, the silver-fringed purple tapestries hanging on the walls, the enormous marble statues of scantily-clad men and women carrying silver wicker baskets of fruits or jugs of water in each corners, and the seven-tiered fountain that for some reason is in the middle of the room, Keith lies down starfish-style on his big, fluffy swansdown-and-purple silk bed, wondering if he can persuade Lotor to kidnap an entire village and shelter them here instead. He’ll never be lonely that way and Keith will not have to miss on his daily swordsmanship lesson with Shiro.

 Not that Keith has any ulterior motives for not wanting to miss his daily swordsmanship lesson. With Shiro. It’s just that Keith really likes his daily swordsmanship lesson. With Shiro.

Keith frowns.

When Lotor comes to ask if Keith prefers fish from the lake or game from the mountain for supper, he finds Keith deep in argument with himself, switching between heartfelt sigh and small smile accompanied by flower petals fluttering out of nowhere with fierce scowls and furious blush. Lotor ends up watching, fascinated. They forget supper.

* * *

“Don’t princesses usually have magical talents?” Lotor asks one day.

He (in his humanskin) and Keith had just been walking together around the woods, when Lotor suddenly got swarmed by a couple birds. Instead of singing the birds or asking them nicely to move, Keith has gotten out a revolver from his petticoat and blown it off into the air, effectively scaring them away.

Keith shrugs. “I mean, I _was_ going to learn? But the wizard employed to teach me got exiled by Kolivan. I’ve no idea why.”

“The Spymaster? Is he not also the one who exiled his own underling supposed to teach you the art of etiquette and espionage a year ago?”

“Yeah, it’s a pity. Regris was cool. Matt—the wizard—wasn’t half-bad either. Kolivan’s been trying to exile Allura’s royal attendant and one of the castle’s chefs, too.”

Lotor makes a hum that means ‘ _I’m pretty sure I have an idea why he does that, but I’m going to live up to my chaotic neutral alignment by making an unbelievable theory instead_ ’. “You know, usually when someone with a considerable amount of power begins exiling other people with considerable amounts of power, that means that someone is attempting to take over the crown for their own. Depriving the rightful heir from ascending, you see.”

Keith’s soulful, purple eyes go adorably huge. “Kolivan is staging a coup?” then they narrow and give Lotor such a dirty glare that the dragon inwardly contemplates if he’d better have his sand bath earlier than usual. “Kolivan is the Spymaster. He operates _in the shadow_. Why would he want the crown for himself?”

Lotor shrugs. “Well, who would ever suspect the king himself to be a Spymaster?”

“...no way.”

* * *

Back in the castle, Crown Princess Allura is fluttering up and down the Spymaster’s headquarter, _still_ ranting after the kidnapping of her younger brother two days ago with hands clasped in front of her.

“And I want him (the dragon) flayed, and I want him (the dragon) skinned, and I want his (the dragon’s) flesh boiled and roasted and baked and given to the villagers, and I want his (the dragon’s) blood preserved for potions-and-weapons-making purposes, and I want his (the dragon’s) bones made into new jewelleries, and I want his (the dragon’s) skins made into handbags and boots and belts and...!”

“Would the jewelleries and outfits be for your own exclusive use, or would you donate some as well, Your Highness?” Lance, her royal attendant, busily scribbles down his princess’ rants. Really, Princess Keith with his (not!!!) pretty mullet has an actual notebook and pen, but Lance has to make do with a quill and parchments? Princess Keith only uses his notebook to draw new sword designs or doodle his name with the head of the guard’s!

Antok, the Vice-Spymaster, look at his leader, who seems to freeze for unknown reasons before scowling.

“Someone is trying to tarnish my reputation in front of Princess Keith,” Kolivan scowls.

Crown Princess Allura punches a stone wall off, revealing not only a hidden section for treasures, weapons, a portrait tapestry (because a portrait painting is overdone, apparently) that contains The Clue to First Altea’s Lost Land, and a prisoner hogtied and gagged, but also triggering an automatic security system full of flames, arrows, and flaming arrows. Oh, and a giant axe swinging up above that would have sliced the crown princess in half, had her loyal and royal attendant not shrieked and tackled her to a plush sofa. Crown Princess Allura’s groan is muffled, yet still audible amongst the feathers.

“Where, oh where is my beloved brother taken?”

* * *

“Where is this anyway?”

“If I tell you, do you think you will recognize the place?”

“I studied _geography_ , Lotor. Coran would sneak up on me while I was sleeping and made me recite the names of villages I’d pass if I go by a river on the right instead of the one on the left.”

“Ah, my mother’s cat loved to do the same. Tell me, does your tutor try to eat you for midnight snack as well if you get wrong answer?”

“No, what the hell. The castle’s chefs work 24/7, why would he eat me?”

“Ah, there lies the difference. My mother believes in feeding the cat little food, so it will keep itself in shape and hunt mouses.”

“Is your mother’s cat supposed to be a mouser or your tutor? How could a cat even be a tutor?”

“This is the same cat that ends up being approved as a service animal. I would suspect sorcery to be at hand.”

“Makes sense.”

...

“So are you going to tell me where we are, or are you going to admit that you choose a random cave and never bother to find out the names of the nearby villages?”

“Eat your fish, Keith. If you want more, just tell me and I’ll get them again for you. You don’t have to know the name of the river.”

“...So you don’t know where we are, got it.”

* * *

“It seems our journey must end, Your Highness.”

Keith blinks, less at Lotor’s solemn expression and more at the scrying water angrily lapping behind him.

“My... comrade has realized a... transgression of mine, and I would rather not repay the joy you have given me with an unsightly scene unbefitting of a princess,” Lotor explains, conveniently leaving out the parts where they screamed insults and beat each other with sticks on a rolling log at the top of a waterfall _for fun_ last night. “I shall furnish you with the necessary conveyances and victuals. All I ask is that you return to your home and family with safety.”

He takes Keith’s coarse hand with its dirt-filled, chipped nails in his own smooth, manicured hand and gives it a tender kiss. Keith scowls.

“I already have a dragon-whistle, Lotor. You don’t have to give me another. If I’m bored I’ll whistle for you.”

“Truly? Well darn, I shouldn’t have cashed in that favour I have with Acxa just to say goodbye to you,” Lotor clicks his tongue before picking Keith up by the back of his collar and throwing him into the automaton horse-drawn carriage. “It’s been done, though, so have a nice trip! Farewell!!”

Princess Keith’s safe return to the castle is celebrated far and wide. Sir Shirogane, the head of the guards himself run forward, showing bulging muscles and skin glowing from perspiration under his decently-shining-because-he-has-the-discipline-to-polish-them-while-still-using-them-to-battle armours, before he all but snatches the princess’ dainty figure and cradles him against his sizable pectorals.

“Princess Keith, I’m so glad you are all right...! I can hardly beg your mercy for my failure in protecting you, that I, I-”

Princess Keith looks up with his huge, sparkling, captivating, endearing, touching, loving purple eyes. “Yes, Shiro?”

“I- I- Iiiiiiiii’m just glad you’re fine, Your Highness. Truly, truly fine.”

Princess Keith’s look falters, momentarily replaced by a scowl and a muttered “Fucking Lotor and his shitty ideas”, before he gives the head of the guards the most adorable of all adorable small smiles.

“Thank you, Shiro, I’m glad you’re fine, too.”

Sir Shirogane collapses suddenly, but Princess Keith can hardly show his concern, as Crown Princess Allura swoops in from the highest tower and hugs her beloved brother bridal-style, using Sir Shirogane’s unconscious, supine form to prevent her delicate kidskin boots from getting dirty. Princess Keith’s protests are reduced to incoherent mumbles, as he accidentally ingests his older sister’s hair in his mouth.

Back in his lair, Lotor is pacing in front of the five-way scrying pond.

“What do you mean Sir Shirogane chickened out _again_?” he complains petulantly. “What about my plan to kidnap them on their honeymoon and insert myself into their relationship so that we would become the Power Threesome of all ages?”

“Cancel it?” Ezor suggests.

“Crush them,” Zethrid helpfully adds an option.

Narti doesn’t reply, too busy adjusting the beautifully monogrammed vest of her service cat.

“Stop drinking potion to turn you into a dragon, stop appropriating caves meant for poor bears and wolves that are now homeless, stop kidnapping the people you like instead of courting them like a normal person, stop running away from your princely responsibilities and go back to your kingdom so you can possibly get bethroted to Princess Keith,” Acxa deadpans.

“All rejected,” the scrying pond turns into a regular, slightly murky from moss, pond with a wave of Lotor’s hand. He turns in his armchair, intending to sigh fornlornly as the sun sets, when he hears the dragon-whistle.

And the dragon prince prepares himself to kidnap the male princess again, hopefully this time to their Happily Ever After.

~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry about this lmao  
> Any preference what story I write next? Type your answer in the Comment box


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